Tuesday, October 27, 2009

For the Semi-Good Niece

Dearest True,

Even as I left you, my health was declining and, upon my return to my own modest abode, I fell under the sway of a most vile pestilence. I therefore must communicate to you using this odd new-fangled grimcrack which seems to operate upon the waves of the ether (I am not certian of that; I rather suppose Mr. Edison would know better). Further, I must trust that you mother, obsessed as she is with all things electrographic, will turn up this rather misplaced missive and deliver to you my message. Let me apologize profusely for the lack of annotation and illustrative documentation that the nature of this medium prevents me from providing. (Perhaps it is for the best. After all, my dear, do you truly wish to have a sketch of "Evil Uncle succumbing to pustulation and mucosial discharge"? It may be that, even in the interests of science, so vistas remain obscured.)

To my point then with alacrity before the goodfellows expel my disease-ridden carcass from their lodge. I wish to let you know that I did indeed return to the McHO intact though somewhat the worse for wear and that I did survive being catapulted through the atmosphere as no man rightfully should. I firmly believe that man was not meant to fly and yet he does. Having experience in these matters, I believe the discomfort is necessary to offset the insult to the natural order--a kind of purgatory for our hubris. Further, I would have you know that I have recieved your own vastly informative missives and devoured their contents with great haste and pleasure. I find fault within your researches in but a singular instance. I believe that the correct designation for a discorpreated spirit residing in the temporal ether pending migration to either higher or lower plain for its final respite is "ghost" rather than "gost". On the other hand, this may be a matter of regional dialect and, if it does indeed prove to be true, you may have chanced upon a most profitable area of linguistic, ethnic, and anthropological lore to investigate further. I recommend to you that you also consider additionally the possible alternative spelling of "ghast". While these all share a similar root in the Teutonic/Scandinavian phonetics, I do think that "ghoul" is sufficiently established within the Hungarian to be safely excluded from your search. Perhaps I am wrong on this and if so, what a discovery awaits you. Follow your instincts on this and do keep me abreast of your researches.

For now, I return to my sick bed. Not to worry. Carry on, stiff upper lip, pip-pip, and all that.

I remain,
your Evil Uncle


Starbuck O'Shea said...

Noooo -- we need the pictures!!!!!!!!

Although this is a new story, so maybe the pictorial references were not able to darken enough onscreen. Alas!


Kimba said...

Poor Evil Uncle! I hope he is on the mend by now.

I think pictures are still needed.

EvilSIL said...

I will make sure your long-suffering niece receives this correspondence. Although, you do realize that you'll have to double up on the Evil Uncle illustrations next go-round, correct? Perhaps a flip book? :P (Thank you for sparing me the spewish phleg-em.)

EvilSIL said...

Your niece is thrilled that you have put this online for all to see. (Perhaps she's hoping for minions?) She does say, however, that people don't talk that fancy and she thinks you have your pinky up. For future reference, she's never this critical when there are Evil Uncle illustrations involved. :)

MKeaton said...

Ah but knowing my Semi-Good Niece, I must ask: "Pinky up what?"